Wednesday, 3 November 2010

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Today, uh...nothing really occurred. I've done a cop out like this before, but ouch. I'm afraid of pushing forward with my work, fearful that I'll hit dead ends of which I don't have the skill or capacity to overcome. In reality, there isn't anything really to hold me back. Then again, maybe I'm afraid of facing the reality of of how bad I really am at something? I hate working hard, and challenging myself. Ultimately there can never be any real enjoyment to come from that, and I seem to have a hard time with putting up with the stress it creates therein. I've pulled through before however, so again, there can't really be anything holding me back.

The latest time yet, I arose at quarter-past twelve. In the kitchen, Rory came up a little bit afterwards in his pyjamas. He didn't get much sleep last night, due to staying up 'till around 3am. He put it towards feeling guilty for not joining in with his friend's activities - and as it is, most people before their late twenties tend to be proactive towards midnight.

Someone had cleaned up the kitchen today, all of it. I saw Jamie come out, so I assumed it was him. With such a clean space, I decided to cook up something real tonight. At first, I thought on a stir fry but instead thought about yet another Nikujaga, as a reason to shop at Waitrose and waste time.

When I started cooking (early at about 5:30), Jamie, Sophie, Rory and others came up. Sophie had a pretty rough day and felt a little shattered, emotionally. Film Production had to do a Crit today, explaining their ideas and all. The basis of it was done in style of the TV show Dragon's Den, with the businessmen instead being the staff - and the audience was all the other students. Some groups were fine, whilst others came under fire. Sophie's group's film idea was torn to shreds. Supposedly the worst of all! Her group tightened their lips and left Sophie to do all the talking - so she came out fairly scarred from the experience. It was bad to a point where she felt like dropping off the course altogether.

She wasn't tearful or overall dramatic about it though, and earnestly remained natural. To cheer her up somewhat, I promised I'd get her a foot-long sub if she pulls through it all or similar.

I made the Nikujaga almost without any guidelines this time around! Getting better and better. I wanted to add in spring onions but they went off, mysteriously soaked and the root ends generally rotted up.
It was ready, and it tasted so damn good. I could seriously eat all of it, and...I kind of did! I asked if Georgia and Rob wanted to try some but they were already eating, so I put some into a bowl and went over to Yannis's room. Earlier today, I told him of my plans to cook the nikujaga and told him I'd give him some. He wasn't answering the door though, must of been out or sleeping. So, I tried Sophie's room. I heard from Georgia that Sophie had gone out with the others, but she was in. Left the serving on a table and she graciously eat it.

Cleaning up the utensils and everything afterwards, I chatted with Kit. Asked him how his group crit went today, and like Sophie, he was fumbled about it. Originally, his group were going to document tattooing, but the staff gave it the thumbs-down and instead pushed Kit and the gang to focus on the...library. How exciting! Naturally, he was pissed about it but appreciated the staff giving differing opinions. (Which I hate to no end, especially if the staff disregard their viewpoints conflicting)
Kit said he's looking forward to working on his own fictional narrative for the next project.
I asked him if his course was presented a showreel of former student's work - he was, and liked some of it. Others, however, he loathed - apparently due to the cheesiness of it. (Not so much Hollywood cheese ball, but the concept) Suggested to him that maybe the students that made the film had others ideas, yet were pushed into the final one by the staff. Kit responded that if it were to be the case with him in his final year project, he'd leave the course. FUCK YEAH, THIS IS MY KIND OF SPIRITED THINKING.

Also mentioned to Kit, from what Oscar told me Tuesday, how he apparently thought that we (housemates) disliked him when he first moved in. Trying to put this tidbit across was a little unnerving and Kit was a little troubled by this fact, looking like this:

"Whaaa?"

Panicked, I put my words across more straight-forwardly, and he suddenly remembered. Kit associated it to initial home-sickness (unsure if that's what it was) when moving in, and really wanted to meet new people to ease it over. Since everyone else was on the same boat, somewhat, Kit must of felt a little disdained from the shy nature we all had at first. It's surprising though, since I my initially thought that Kit hated us! I should really consider things more carefully. Told Kit that the weeks go by quickly (it's already half-way through the term, oh crap) to reassure that the Christmas break will come sooner than he thinks.

James Allen popped up in a bit, intending to watch a film. I said I'd join him a little bit soon, and did so once the washing was finally out of the way. The film was Dr. Stranglove (AKA: Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb). Despite how I disregard 1960 films, I enjoyed this particular one. It had genuinely good element of humour and the ending (including that iconic scene) was...impacting, to put it one way. I must of annoyed James during the course of the film: I turned up 10 minutes late, stuck my feet to one side of Yannis's head (he had to sit in front of the bed, giving up his spot on the bed for me), came out and back in so I could take my boots off and twice leant over to put my satsuma orange (Kit gave me) peelings in the bin, obstructing the view for James. Sophie frequently distracted herself by snooping around Facebook on her phone, dropping comments here and there. She also goofed with her stuffed toys, of which is beyond apparent, loves. Her bear is called Scratch and the chick, uh, forgot. Rob called her a mental patient. Jamie, as wonderfully and unexpectedly venomous he can be, boldly stated the toys are going out the window like her pumpkins.


Finishing this entry and it's only 11:40! Wow, great! Maybe if I start at 7:00 I can actually get it done for 9:30pm.

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